Stop Smiling?

I know that many of you are probably thinking that my blog has been hacked after seeing this title.  What happened to the girl who wrote "Seven Ways to Never Stop Smiling"?  I am asking myself the same question right now, after reading the first chapter of Barbara Ehrenreich's Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America.  The first chapter, Smile or Die: The Bright Side of Cancer, is all about how breast cancer patients are expected to take their treatment with a positive attitude and an almost child-like disposition inclined towards sparkly pink things for distraction.  Ehrenreich takes the stance that it is unfair to hold the patients to this expectation; she believes that they should be allowed to feel cheated and upset about their condition.

At first, I felt that Ehrenreich was being absurd.  Why shouldn't we try to make breast cancer patients as happy and optimistic as possible?  I have always been a big advocate for happiness, and who hasn't heard that a positive attitude helps drive sickness away?  But Ehrenreich exposes this as a myth; even those who smile the most don't always get better. 

I also realized that, unlike Ehrenreich, I have never been diagnosed with cancer.  How could I possibly argue with her about how it felt to have people telling me to turn that frown upside down even as I vomited and lost hair during chemotherapy?  As I looked back on my life, I realized that I am not the most pleasant person to be around when I only have the common cold. 

Ehrenreich also tackled the notion that breast cancer will make you a stronger, more vivacious person in the future.  For one thing, it could kill you.  And if it didn't you could get a mastectomy or chemotherapy that would leave you very weak for quite a while.  I really did not want to hear this because I have always gone by the saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but then I realized that she isn't saying that breast cancer won't make you stronger in the long run.  Instead she is saying that we shouldn't treat cancer like it's some path to a better life.  It should be seen for what it is, a nasty, horrible disease that has more risks than benefits.

I think I finally began to understand Ehrenreich's whole message and stop taking offense to it by the end of the chapter.  In the last few pages she talks about how if the patient doesn't want to be cheerful, they are often seen as outcasts and blamed for their feelings.  She says that is simply wrong, and I can definitely get behind her here.  People shouldn't feel forced to be optimistic, if a breast cancer patient feels discouraged about their illness they should have every right to express that without feeling that they will get their head bitten off.  While I might not agree with everything Ehrenreich has to say about happiness, I now understand her viewpoint a little better.  Endless optimism when it comes to breast cancer is extremely limiting and unfair to all involved; it is a terrible disease that will usually do much more harm than good.