Wanna be a Princess? Lose the Frizz!

I think I speak for just about every girl of my generation when I say that after watching the Princess Diaries, I waited with bated breath for the day that my grandmother would tell me that I was to become the next Princess of Genovia.  I absolutely love this coming-of-age movie; the dorky, awkward nerd-girl turning into the graceful, lovely young woman by the end of the story.  There is only one tiny little detail that gets my goat every time: THEY TAKE AWAY HER CURLS!!!



http://blogs.disney.com/disney-style/fashion/2014/08/03/lets-talk-about-the-fashion-from-the-princess-diaries/

While I am as anti-frizz as any other girl, I take offense that the stylists completely hijacked Mia Thermopolis' curls and gave her a full blow-out.  After her "transformation", Mia has some of the sleekest, straightest hair that I have ever seen.  Why is it that Mia is only seen as desirable and fit to rule a kingdom after her hair has been tamed to within an inch of its life?  And beyond that, to maintain this façade, Mia will have to damage her hair with heat and hairspray everyday.  It's simply not healthy!

Like Mia, I had MAJOR issues with my hair growing up.  If I did not put my hair in a pony tail everyday, it looked like an albatross had built a nest on my head.  Fortunately I got my act together in high school and learned the value of hydrating conditioner and curl crème.  Unlike Mia, I decided to work with my hair instead of fighting it.

Here I am as the albatross carried me off after finding out that I was not, in fact, a tree.

This prejudice against curly hair in Disney Princess movies runs deeper than just this movie, however.  While many of the princesses have wavy hair, there is only one princess that has the wild curly hair that I identify with.  Merida, from Disney-Pixar's Brave, has some of the coolest hair I have ever seen.  She is fearless, smart, funny, and, for much of the movie, seen as unfit to rule.  Her wildly curly hair is seen as un-ladylike, and she is forced to hide it under a hood.



http://www.insidethemagic.net/2013/05/exclusive-disney-bravely-responds-to-merida-makeover-outrage-says-2d-new-look-was-for-limited-use-only/
http://healthfulmd.hubpages.com/hub/princess-merida-brave

Why is it that Merida and Mia are both seen as unfit to rule when they have curly hair?  People should not be judged on their competency to lead by how they look.  I have often wondered how I will have to style my hair after college when I am on the job market.  Will I have to cut my hair short or straighten it in order to look responsible to prospective employers?

Society simply holds women to too many standards when it comes to appearances, even in Disney movies.  Most people recognize that Disney Princess waist lines are unattainable to the real human being, but even their hair has created false expectations.  I know way too many girls who hate their hair and feel the need to straighten, curl, or otherwise change it everyday.  I'm not saying that these are bad things, they can be fun and make you feel pretty! But if girls start to feel ugly when they leave their hair to its natural texture, then something is wrong with how they are viewing themselves. And it is probably due in part to how their role models, aka Disney Princesses, are portrayed.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/307792955755121280/

 

I hope that people start acting more like Mia's friend Michael.  He recognized Mia's real inner beauty long before everyone else because he could see through what everyone saw as her "ugly" outside appearance.  And as the movie shows, it goes both ways.  The pretty, popular kids in the movie turn out to be total jerks, showing that my Grandmother's old saying is true: "Pretty is as Pretty does."  In other words, you are only beautiful if your actions are too, so Mia was beautiful when she was "ugly" after all.

 

Judge people by their actions instead of their looks?

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Stop Smiling?

I know that many of you are probably thinking that my blog has been hacked after seeing this title.  What happened to the girl who wrote "Seven Ways to Never Stop Smiling"?  I am asking myself the same question right now, after reading the first chapter of Barbara Ehrenreich's Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America.  The first chapter, Smile or Die: The Bright Side of Cancer, is all about how breast cancer patients are expected to take their treatment with a positive attitude and an almost child-like disposition inclined towards sparkly pink things for distraction.  Ehrenreich takes the stance that it is unfair to hold the patients to this expectation; she believes that they should be allowed to feel cheated and upset about their condition.

At first, I felt that Ehrenreich was being absurd.  Why shouldn't we try to make breast cancer patients as happy and optimistic as possible?  I have always been a big advocate for happiness, and who hasn't heard that a positive attitude helps drive sickness away?  But Ehrenreich exposes this as a myth; even those who smile the most don't always get better. 

I also realized that, unlike Ehrenreich, I have never been diagnosed with cancer.  How could I possibly argue with her about how it felt to have people telling me to turn that frown upside down even as I vomited and lost hair during chemotherapy?  As I looked back on my life, I realized that I am not the most pleasant person to be around when I only have the common cold. 

Ehrenreich also tackled the notion that breast cancer will make you a stronger, more vivacious person in the future.  For one thing, it could kill you.  And if it didn't you could get a mastectomy or chemotherapy that would leave you very weak for quite a while.  I really did not want to hear this because I have always gone by the saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but then I realized that she isn't saying that breast cancer won't make you stronger in the long run.  Instead she is saying that we shouldn't treat cancer like it's some path to a better life.  It should be seen for what it is, a nasty, horrible disease that has more risks than benefits.

I think I finally began to understand Ehrenreich's whole message and stop taking offense to it by the end of the chapter.  In the last few pages she talks about how if the patient doesn't want to be cheerful, they are often seen as outcasts and blamed for their feelings.  She says that is simply wrong, and I can definitely get behind her here.  People shouldn't feel forced to be optimistic, if a breast cancer patient feels discouraged about their illness they should have every right to express that without feeling that they will get their head bitten off.  While I might not agree with everything Ehrenreich has to say about happiness, I now understand her viewpoint a little better.  Endless optimism when it comes to breast cancer is extremely limiting and unfair to all involved; it is a terrible disease that will usually do much more harm than good.