Monday, November 24, 2014
Cupcakes: The Dessert of Discord
Cupcakes: they're sweet, colorful, bite-sized...and they're taking over the world! In the past few years, stores selling these sugary little treats have popped up in towns all over the United States. While they seem unassuming, don't be deceived; this takeover is hostile. The cupcake promotes seclusion and selfishness. The consumer doesn't have to wait to host a party to buy a cake, she can have a party for one with her own personal dessert. The cupcake argues that other people aren't necessary to celebrate life events, when in reality celebrating has always been about people coming together.
Even if you do invite guests to your cupcake party, you are basically saying to them that you don't want to share with them. Your cupcakes argue that you would rather do without delicious leftovers just so that no one else will touch your own personal dessert. Also, instead of compromising and baking a cake that will fit everyone's tastes, you divide people into groups of those who want the chocolate cupcake and those who want the vanilla. Some would argue that this allows people more options, resulting in a more satisfactory party, but I believe a marble cake could have solved this problem and kept the unity alive to boot.
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Some of my very favorite memories center around my birthdays growing up. Whether they were family or friend parties, there were always lots of people around to celebrate my special day and eat a community dessert. Some desserts were made by my mom, including a sandcastle cake for my under-the-sea themed party and a double-chocolate raspberry cake for my chocolate-obsessed stage. Some were made by a bakery, including a cake that looked like a hamburger and a cake with my face printed on it with edible icing. One wasn't even a cake; it was an ice cream pizza. Regardless, I never had a birthday party in which I served cupcakes; even as a small child I saw the value of creating unity through a shared snack.
Unfortunately, I have been to one birthday party in which cupcakes were served: my father's. We were too busy to hold an extended-family birthday party, so we just ate a nice meal at home and bought a couple of cupcakes from The Cup, our neighborhood cupcake bakery. While I appreciated being with my mom, dad, and sister, having one solitary cupcake staring back at me made me feel kind of sad that I wasn't with my grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins as well. In the future, I will always try to avoid resorting to cupcakes as a celebratory food, and I encourage you, dear reader, to do the same. Cell phones are small potatoes compared to cupcakes when it comes to the real cause of deteriorating social skills in America; we must do all we can to resist their delicious temptations!
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